I discovered an excellent technique to combat this tendency. In general, people are very skillful at arguing a particular case. When a person takes a position, he or she looks for evidence to support it and then stops, satisfied. This mental process gives the illusion that a position is objective and well justified. However—and this is the useful point—a person can often make the very opposite argument, just as easily. If I tell myself, “I’m a shy person,” I remember examples of my shyness. If I tell myself, “I’m an outgoing person,” I remember times when I was outgoing. I’m able to argue both conclusions quite persuasively.
To make use of this phenomenon, I’ve resolved to “Make the positive argument.”
When I catch myself thinking, “My husband isn’t very thoughtful,” and my mind starts kicking up examples of thoughtlessness, I contradict myself with “He’s very thoughtful”—and sure enough, I’m able to come up with many examples of his thoughtful behavior. “He doesn’t enjoy celebrating holidays”; “He does enjoy celebrating holidays.”
I can actually feel my opinion shift. It’s almost uncanny.
Resolve to “Make the positive argument.” You’ll be amazed at how convincing you can be—to yourself.}
Today at church I used it on him. We have a new class this year in primary and one kid that pushes our buttons and particularly Jeff's ;) well today he was saying how he was going to quit if that kid acted naughty again. I said to him (you're right. . . either way you're right). Guess what our primary class was crazy today but no buttons were pushed like they've been the past few weeks. YIPEE!! :D