As a gold-star junkie myself, I was intrigued by researchers’ arguments that men need more gold stars from their partners than women do, because women get much more positive support outside marriage. Family members, colleagues, friends of both genders, and even strangers give more frequent affirmation to women than to men. Men, by contrast, depend much more on their partners for empathy and intimacy.
This prompted me to adopt the resolution to “Give gold stars.”
How? I tell my husband “I love you” more often. I try to be helpful even when he hasn’t asked for help—say, by bringing him aspirin if he has a headache. I thank him even for something that’s “his” job. I email him sweet photos of the girls. I try to be accommodating if he wants to go to the gym, leave a party early, work over the weekend, or when he asks me the same question over and over.
Resolve to “Give gold stars”—you make your partner feel more beloved, and at the same time, you make yourself feel more loving.}
I sucked at this today!! :( boo for me! I'm gonna try and do this again tomorrow. But while we're on the subject Jeff is (on the other hand) AwEsOmE at this! I have learned a lot from him. I need to get better at it with him. I don't do it enough. Sometimes I even think he doesn't care about this one - but he really does. And who wouldn't? Everyone loves GOLD STARS as often as they can get them (at least that's what I think :)
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